A meditation for beginnings…

“You don’t need endless time and perfect conditions.  Do it now.  Do it today.  Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating.” ~Barbara Cher

Since signing up for my own little piece of web space, I had lulled myself back into a state of inertia.  I made no excuses for my inability to get started on my blogging journey.  I know the reasons, they just weren’t really good enough.  They included (but were of course not limited to):  I didn’t know where to start. I had nothing really unique or interesting to offer. What if after such a lengthy “break” from writing, I had lost what ability I did have?…and on, and on, and on.

And then something happened or, some “things” happened.

A good friend of mine from my university days started a food blog.  Check it out!  http://gastronomyandlifesotherpleasures.tumblr.com/  I’m so proud of her, and I love reading it.  Something about her courage to put herself, and her passion out there has inspired and motivated me.  Thank you lovely!

Around the same time, I started using the public library more.  My mother has always been a huge proponent of the library, but I’ve mostly preferred buying the books I want to read even though I acknowledge that it’ s slightly ridiculous. I’m not the type to reread books, so a $30 hit for something I spend 3 days reading makes less and less sense especially since I have been off of work (more on that later) and more conscious of my spending habits.  Along with my new affection for the library I have discovered an appreciation for short stories.   A book called This Cake is for the Party written by Sarah Selecky has me especially enthralled.   I gobbled it up and found myself thinking about recent events in my life and how they would be interpreted and recounted by Selecky – cautiously optimistic that this new perspective might represent a hint of creativity appearing through my recent mental fog.

Finally, and what ultimately has gotten me to this point dear reader, something clicked.  I was not writing, and thinking about not writing, and berating myself for not writing when something I had read years ago in The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer occurred to me again.  It just seemed like the perfect way to start this journey.  It was exactly what I needed to understand to get started.  So, here it is.  I hope it might even help you to start something new that’ll get your heart beating again…

A Meditation for Beginnings

Sit or lie down in a comfortable position & bring your attention your breathing, following the breath as it enters & leaves your body, letting your muscles let go with each exhalation.  Do this for a dozen breaths, just following the rising & falling of your body with each breath.

Now, let yourself focus on one thing you want to do that is not currently part of your life.  Let it be something specific & imagine in detail what it would feel like.  It may be meditation or exercising daily, learning something new or doing something creative like dancing, painting, writing or simply being more patient with those you love.  Something that has meaning for you.

See yourself beginning this activity.  Imagine the state of mind, body, and emotions ideally required to begin.  How do you want to be feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically when you start?  Imagine yourself as you ideally want to be to begin.  Stay with this for a few breaths.

Now, be aware, feel the gap, if there is one between where you want to be as you begin living this aspect of your life and where you are.  Perhaps you are more tired, less inspired, less calm, or more distracted than you want to be.  Let your attention follow your inhalation and your exhalation and take a few moments to feel, without judgement, the gap between where you are and where you want to ben -or think you should be- to begin.  Now imagine yourself beginning what you originally wanted to do, starting from the place you are right now.  See yourself doing it.  Let yourself relax into how things are, perhaps not as perfectly, not as ideally as you first imagined it, but doing it anyway.  Let go with each exhalation let yourself feel exactly how you are feeling.  Give yourself permission to begin from here.

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